I recently had a conversation with a close friend of mine about growing and maturing over the years. Sitting back and realizing that we were not the same people we were four years ago. The things we did , allowed and maybe didn’t do has changed. We have changed as individuals. The conversation continued about relationships and I stated because of the growth and maturity I wouldn’t settle for anything and tolerate certain things from someone who’s interested in dating me. Now I’m not asking for the perfect man just the perfect man for me. I do have a quote on quote list of qualities that I would love to have in a man. And honestly I do think he’s out there. I know God has someone out there just for me. I’m not saying he won’t have flaws because we all do but his imperfections will be minor to all the greatness he embodies. But until the day I met my future husband, I refuse to settle with someone that doesn’t meet my standards.
Growing up and dating I would allow certain actions from a guy not realizing my worth. I didn’t truly understand that I was deserving of something much more. Of course I would think it when I guy did something fucked up and even say it out loud at times but never really put my foot down and demanded the respect that I deserve. I was too busy worrying about being liked and just having some attention that I forget that I was a child of God and I was worth so much more. And as certain events in my life played out and I started to really see people true colors , I started to have serious conversations with myself. I started to realize that if I don’t end this cycle of settling I would never truly be happy and that void inside of me would never be filled. Real growth and maturity is hard and it brings along a lot of pain because you start to realize those who said they love you and will always be there for you weren’t really in your corner at all and that they were actually bringing you down. But with that pain you start to feel that weight lifted off your shoulders and you start to become comfortable and happy in your own skin. You realize that you were settling and that you deserve better.
It took me years to understanding this and I honestly wish I would’ve had this strength years ago but I’m happy I have it now and this is something I’ll never let go of. I’m putting myself in a position to where I’m ready for my future husband by taking care of myself and living up to the standards and potential God intended for me. I’m worrying less about what others think and me and more focus on being a better me. Now I’m not saying these steps are easy because there will be times where you’re going to feel doubtful and you’re going feel like settling because it seems better than not having nothing at all. But to the beautiful well deserving woman that’s reading this, girl you are worth and worthy of so many great things and settling for something less will not bring you happiness. That feeling you feel in your gut to let go and move on , listen to it and aspire for greatness and for someone who knows your worth. Because honey I see it in you and if I see it know that one worthy guy will see it too. Don’t settle when you deserve so much more.